21 Dec Author urges women to date diverse men (good), then stereotypes men of color (bad) and says stupid stuff on NPR
Holy cow — I just read about this on Jezebel.com, and it goes way beyond the pale.
J.C. Davies, a former Goldman Sachs investment banker and blogger who’s published a book about inter-racial dating, “I Got The Fever: Love, What’s Race Got To Do With It?,” was a panelist on the NPR show “Tell Me More” for an episode about dating unemployed men. The other panelists on the program were Danielle Belton, author of the blog “The Black Snob“, GQ magazine Washington correspondent and TV pundit Ana Marie Cox, and the host is Michel Martin.
Davies began riffing off the topic at hand, and spouted off some incredible stereotypes as if they’re indisputable facts. Here are some passages from the NPR transcript:
MARTIN: Now, J.C., let me ask you this, because as we said, you’ve written a book about dating men of different cultures and ethnic backgrounds, and I have to say, the book is very provocative. I mean it’s the kind of thing that most of us wouldn’t discuss without a couple of drinks and perhaps not even then. And so I wanted to ask – but you do go right there. You do actually take on the question of whether men of different backgrounds, in your experience, feel differently about their even willingness to be in the dating pool if they aren’t employed. What did you find out? And please try to not lose me my license.
Ms. DAVIES: OK. I’ll be on my best behavior.
MARTIN: Thank you.
Ms. DAVIES: Yeah. I think of all the different cultures I discuss in the book, Latinos, Indian-Asians, blacks and Jewish, there is a definitely difference as to whether or not they would even consider pursuing women if they’re unemployed, particular, Asians and Indians. It’s just not something they would do. There’s actually a section in my book that’s called – an Asian section that’s called, You Are What You Do. So, therefore, if you don’t have a job, there’s really no way to approach people.
And I remember having this conversation with a good friend of mine that’s really intelligent and he said – and I said, you know, you should be a entrepreneur. And he says, oh yeah, like, anyone’s going to date an unemployed bald Indian guy. So, I mean that’s sort of the mentality that they have. They just really wouldn’t even approach a woman if they didn’t have a job.
Martin later asked Davies about African American men:
MARTIN: So, what about – what did you find with Latino men and African-American men?
Ms. DAVIES: Well, I mean, with, you know, with the sisters, I mean, they’re really not going to put up with the brother that’s unemployed. So, I mean maybe they need to start considering dating white women or something because I think that that’s going to be a really tough sell. So, you know, true for Asian women, too. I mean there’s just certain cultures where the women are not going to sort of put up with joblessness, where I think, you know, people that are part of the general American culture, white people…
MARTIN: You mean white. You mean white – is what you meant.
Ms. DAVIES: Yeah, white people. Yeah. White people are more, I think, a little bit more forgiving because of exactly what Danielle said about how everybody’s unemployed, you know.
At the close of the show, Martin asked Davies if her boyfriend has a job. “He does have a job. I mean, he’s a Jewish accountant. Sorry, not to be stereotypical, but that just is the truth.”
It’s unfortunate that in Davies’ world, everyone fits the boxes she’s created for her worldview, and bolsters her tunnel-vision version of life. There’s so much wrong with Davies’ perspective, and the fact that she published a book that shouts her stereotypes about Jewish, Black, Hispanic, Asian and South Asian men. There’s also her blog, in which she tackles issues such as how “I-talians” didn’t accept her even though her grandmother was born on the “I-talian border,” and keeps referring to African Americans as “brothers” and “sisters.” Yeah, she’s trying to write in the vernacular and be cutesy, but it makes my stomach clench to read her.
Davies has a disclaimer in her book, titled “Before You Call Me a Racist…” and makes the point that she’s not trying to be politically correct and is just calling it like she sees it. But that doesn’t help me accept her as an expert on men of color.
Yet, to her credit, she also writes against flat-out racism (check out her blog post, “Young and racist? WTF?“), and the basic premise of her book — that white women should be dating men of all colors — is laudable.
I just wish she didn’t bring her one-dimensional, simple-minded perspective to the topic.
(Thanks to Leslie Wong for the heads-up!)